Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
