Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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