But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
