also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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