Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
