Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
