I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
