Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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