Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize