I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
