She said her name was "party"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
