i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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