I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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