She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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