why didn't you poke me back
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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