Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
