we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
3 2 1 whiskey
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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