I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
