his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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