I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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