The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
