Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
