it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
