we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
