Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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