hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize