so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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