You made me cry and you don't even care
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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