I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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