Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
