Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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