How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
