Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
