does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
