JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
