yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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