I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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