Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
