If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize