are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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