ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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