We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
