it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
