Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
