Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
