I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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