can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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