I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
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You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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