I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
