I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
