It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?