ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂