go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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