i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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