Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
