I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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