I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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