problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
