My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
