I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
