You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
