do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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